Monday, January 18, 2016

Monster Called Jealousy


I try so very hard to contain her
But every now and again she rears her ugly green head desperate to take away the the control that I have over her.
What's hers is hers and She will Not allow me to be lenient with my kindness
She calls me weak
Which in return makes me question my own actions
I want to unleash her, but I know when I allow her wrath to dominate me in mind, body, and ,spirit,
I will become the crazy one,
Knowing that she'll be the blame.
So I ask..Why do you hate her?
"I just fucking do!!!!!!"
(This is what she does
Curse at me while spewing hatred and negativity)
She has done nothing to you, yet you want me to condemn her.?"
"What did she do?"
"She think she's fucking better than me!!!!!She think she's fucking better than you!!!!!
She's ugly!! And I hate her!!!!"
"But she isn't..In fact I was told that she is even more beautiful than I..Which automatically makes her more beautiful than you."
'You are threatened by her. She makes you insecure and it eats you up inside. That's why you never have logical answers to the questions I ask.
You never have reasonable replies."
"But WHY?!?!?!"
" I have everything I have wished for, Which automatically means the same for you,"
"Why do you want to come out and cause problems for me. I'm not the one who has these insecurities..Its YOU.!!!!!!"
"But you are! You see we are one and the same. And because you don't want to face the fucking facts. I am where you lay all of the blame.!!!!!!"
"Your heart starts to beat faster Every time you hear her name."
" It makes you sick doesn't it?, That voice in the back your Head telling you that she will Always be there..in HIS heart."
I gasp.
"Yeah," She smirks
"That's the reason, you're mad. You can't express it because you're scared he's gonna give you that bullshit ass answer he already had."
"YOU have no logical reason for feeling this way towards her, but you feel she has a hold on what's yours and you want to snatch that shit back!!!
"You wouldn't be able to compete with her!!!" She laughs!
I wouldn't be able to compete with her!!"
"And I'm Jealous...
"YOU'RE" Fucking Jealous!!!!!!!!."









Sunday, January 17, 2016

A Poem for GOD(Mother)


We are all born knowing that our mother is God..Until someone start to spread lies!!!!!...My Black Queen,
She is God and have always been the supreme being in my eyes.
When I called upon her name she was there.
In the midnight hour, when I felt like I couldn't make it,
She was there.
When I was hungry, she fed me.
When I was sick She healed me.
She gave me life.
And If that isn't God then who could it possibly be,
I have always known GOD!
We are connected physically
She calls to me spritually
The Glue that Holds my family together. The Nurturing Soul, My fathers wife.
I am created in her Image!
Her blood runs Through Me!
So Don't feed me lies about who You think the Supreme being is...Or Your so called interpretation of God
Because Mother is God
It's just spelled differently.!!!

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Writer's Block!

My mind is literally at a standstill,
No creative juices flowing through me at will,
Spewing the most articulate and beautiful words I could ever spill,
I have to contemplate and think
Daydreaming about writing the best shit that I could EVER write, but I just can't find the words.
"I've run out of answers. I've run out of time. I'm so confused that I'm losing my mind."
The same lyrics keep rushing through my head, constantly reminding me that
It may not be as easy as it use to be.
Will it EVER ?
I do not believe that it will
My mind is literally at a standstill,
Frozen
Is this writer's block?
When all I can do is sit in my bed and Reminisce when this shit use to come to me so easy
And then I blink
And within that blink the clock has suddenly changed.
So you mean to tell me that in 300 to 400 milliseconds, 2 hours have passed and I still haven't created magic with this pen to paper, but my NAME!?!?
This is most definitely not the same.
My mind is literally at a standstill
You want synonymous?
Constant, Deadlocked, immobile, immovable, inactive, inert, latent, passive, ridgid, stable, stagnant, stalled, stationary, sticky, still, stuck, paused, unfluctuating, unmoving,
Oh
You didn't know?
I'm a mean motherfucka with words, But for the life of me I can't get them to perform for me.
To dance beautifully against this page.
My mind is literally at a stand still, Unchanging,
Stopped.

Happiness

The pursuit to find the missing piece of this puzzle we call life is distant.
Almost unattainable,
but we strive and reach for it anyway even though we know the outcome will surely be unchangeable,
It doesn't matter because the Hope that we have that Contentment is just around the corner prevails
and so we keep on.
Searching and seaching
Not really knowing what direction to take ..Or moves to make.
As we finally reach that top step, and we finally believe that this is it,
We have finally reached Utopia,
just to realize
We aren't satisfied with our accomplishments
So we go on.
Gluttonous
Wanting More and more.
Leaving behind those who were there before.
This is just an illusion that is fed to you by those who are Clearly insecure,  beating it into your head that you surely can't be happy with what you have..here is more...
There is No ultimate Merriment
In this world Happiness is NOT real
It does not even Exist.





Thursday, January 14, 2016

Mytical Creature

This devine creature.
A rare Beauty
One unlike any other.
Can never be duplicated.
An immortal being that gives life and has the Ingredients to feed your soul.
The Most powerful
Potent
Compelling
Vivid.
Love so delicious
Sweet
as her Essence rains down on you and Engulfs you into her fiery heat.
Making the most powerful Weak
The unmoving Weep..
Love So deep...